Don't Settle

In a previous blog I addressed the lie of thinking that being single is a negative thing.

There is one more myth I would like to address.

"You will never find someone if you stick to those standards. You need to settle. Everyone else does it. It's the only way you will ever find true love."

False. False. False.

I wanted to write a blog on this subject now mostly because I recently had a conversation with a friend about Christians dating non-Christians and a few things caught my attention.

First of all, dating is for marriage. Completely and solely to find the person you are to spend the rest of your life with.

If you disagree, honestly that is a whole other blog topic, but I'll leave you with this.
If you're not ready to get married (age wise or financially) you shouldn't be dating. (Trust me on this one. Don't factor in time. Things go faster than you would think.)
And secondly, if you don't date for marriage, you WILL get your heart broken or break someone else's heart. At that point dating goes from fulfilling God's plan for your life into a selfish form of temporary pleasure. If you still have questions over that one facebook me I'd be happy to talk with you. :)

With that out of the way, I think we need to realize the importance of this topic. This is the second BIGGEST decision of your life. (First being when you accepted Christ's forgiveness and became an adopted Son or Daughter - again, if you have any questions, facebook me. :) I honestly believe that Satan is slowly deceiving us into blending in with the world.

Flirting is no big deal. Dating is no big deal. Marriage is no big deal. Adultery is no big deal. Divorce is no big deal.

It. Is. A. Big. Deal. Don't be deceived. Satan is slowly winning this battle and we can't let it happen. We as believers are not of this world and we need to start acting like it! It is not okay to blend in because we don't belong here!

Before I get too excited, I need to address a statement I heard earlier. "The bible says to minister the Spiritually blind, and if you had a close enough relationship with a non-Believer that you would date them, then you'd be able to minister to them even better." Now, I absolutely love the person that sent this to me and I consider them a great friend, but I respectfully disagree.

By saying that we need to act like we don't belong here I am in no way saying that we need to hide our lights under bowls. (Matt. 5:14-16) We are specifically called to be a light to the non-Believers several times throughout the Bible, but we need to be on guard. Yes, we need to build friendships with the sons and daughters of the world so that we can shine in their lives and be Jesus to them, but dating them is completely crossing the line.

If dating is solely for marriage, which I believe it is, and when you are married, the two become one, which I believe is true, how can it be possible to be one with an unbeliever??

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 says it best. I can't imagine being in a union with a person who didn't share my foundation of life, passion behind my every move and breathe, purpose of my life, hope for the future, and faith in the unseen.

I honestly believe that if you are a sold-out, in love, desperate, Christ follower, than this would be repulsive to you. You would have absolutely nothing in common with a non-Believer, your entire world would be completely different. Even if it wasn't completely against the word of God, marriage, or dating, an unbeliever would be discouraging and just miserable to both parts.

Now I realize that may have been harsh and if you don't agree, again, talk to me. :) Also, I know I only addressed part of that statement, the other referring to the benefit of ministering to an unbelieving partner.

In short, God gives us specific instructions and examples of leading people to Christ and showing them Jesus love, and oddly enough, none of those stories including the yoking of a believer to a non-believer.

In closing, don't settle. God has everything already planned out for your life (Jer. 29:11), including your spouse. So be still, know that He is God (Psalm 46:10) and don't worry about what your Heavenly Father already has completely under control. (Matt. 6:34)

"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 6:33

Don't miss out on the amazing joys God has for you in marriage. Don't forfeit God's plan and settle for your own, because honestly? Our plans for our lives are laughable compared to His. How exciting. :)